0202090288
DETROIT FREE PRESS
020210
Sunday, February 10, 2002
METRO FINAL
1E
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 2002, Detroit Free Press
ARE YOU REALLY NEVER TOO OLD TO ROCK 'N' ROLL?
Rock 'n' roll never forgets. That's what Bob Seger said. At least I think it
was Bob Seger. I forget.
Anyhow, last week, I tested Bob's theory by attending my first rock concert in
years. The band was Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, a hugely popular group back
in the late '60s and early '70s.
Now, Crosby, Stills and Nash are no longer young. Even Young is not young.
They have not had a hit in years.
Just the same, like many bands from the baby boomers' heyday (and only a baby
boomer would use the word "heyday"), Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young find
themselves in demand by an aging audience that:
1) Can finally afford a ticket.
2) Can't understand Ja Rule.
3) Desperately wants to feel hip, even though we now wear pants with elastic
waistbands.
Not that the boys in the band are doing health club ads. David Crosby has a
belly you could rub for luck. Graham Nash's hair is white. Neil Young has long
hair, but only on the sides, which is why he wears a hat. Stills' hair is . .
. .um . . . wait . . .
Which one is Stills?
Anyhow, here they were, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, performing at the Palace
of Auburn Hills, a wonderful place to see a concert. There are so many
bathrooms! And so many concession stand --
Ah. You see? None of this used to matter at rock concerts. What used to matter
at rock concerts was how close we got to the stage, how close we got to our
dates and how long the band was playing. We wanted three-hour concerts. Four
hours! Five hours!
Last week, by CSN&Y's fourth song, I was looking at my watch and thinking,
"You know, if we left now, we'd beat all the traffic . . ."
Did he really sing that?
Here are four ways you know you're getting old at a rock concert:
1) When fans leap to their feet, you stay seated, trying to see between the
bodies.
2) Beach balls are really annoying.
3) You get really mad when the band plays new songs because it means you have
to stay longer to hear the old ones.
4) "This Diet Coke cost FOUR BUCKS!"
Also, you find yourself singing along, and suddenly you ask, "What the hell
does THAT mean?"
I did this last week with CSN&Y, while merrily joining in during "Suite: Judy
Blue Eyes," a song that lasts about 74 minutes and has always been a favorite
of mine, even though any song that has a colon in the title should make you
wonder.
Anyhow, there I was, belting the lyrics:
Chestnut brown canariesRuby-throated sparrowsSing the song, don't be
longThrill me to the maaaar-row!
Huh?
A rousing seated ovation
For one thing, I have never seen a sparrow's throat. And by "marrow," do we
mean the bone kind or the other-word-for-tomorrow kind?
See? We never asked these questions before. You know that song "Our House"? I
confess that when the band sang, "Our house, is a very, very, very fine
house," I wondered how much they could get for it.
And when Neil Young sang:
Old man take a look at my life,I'm a lot like you were . . .
I looked at him and thought, who's HE calling old?
And this Diet Coke costs four bucks!
Anyhow, it was a great concert, and I barely had to stand up, in keeping with
the spirit of the band members, who sat on stools much of the night.
A few times, David Crosby stepped away from the mike and cleared his throat
with a loud "accchhhueew," which sounded kind of like my grandpa.
But hey. That's showbiz. As for the big question, what did they do for the
encore, I would like to tell you, but I can't.
Rock 'n' roll never forgets. It does, however, like to be in bed by 11.
Contact MITCH ALBOM at 313-223-4581 or albom@freepress.com. Catch "Albom in
the Afternoon" 3-6 weekdays on WJR-AM (760).
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