0209090203
DETROIT FREE PRESS
020909
Monday, September 09, 2002
METRO FINAL
1A
Photo KIRTHMON F. DOZIER/Detroit Free Press
After the game got out of hand, Lions starting quarterback Mike
McMahon took a seat so Joey Harrington could take a turn. PAGE 1D
MITCH ALBOM FREE PRESS COLUMNIST
Copyright (c) 2002, Detroit Free Press
OOPS! LIONS PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS AGAIN
DOLPHINS 49, LIONS 21
MIAMI -- It's not the heat, it's the humility.
Once again, with a performance that can only be called "Lionesque," the silver
and blue dropped so far, so fast, that it makes us wonder why we even bother
to look forward to football season. Here in the land of the 4 p.m. supper, the
Lions started the year like a fat sunbather with a finger's worth of cocoa
butter: Bound to get burned.
And burned they were. By bad defense. By bad offense. By bad special teams. By
bad everything. They gave up 49 points. Even the NASDAQ index doesn't do that.
The Lions arrived here three days before the game, so they could get
acclimated to the environment. It worked. They played like senior citizens.
And like grandparents spoiling the young, a tradition continues here in the
Millen/Mornhinweg era. The first game is a blowout.
Last year it was a 28-6 loss to Green Bay. People said, "They're just getting
started." This year it was 49-21. I guess they were just getting started.
The problem is, this is not the direction you want to go. Last year, the
season-opening humiliation sent the Lions tumbling to a 12-game losing streak
and laughingstock status. Don't look now, M & M, but that snickering you hear
sounds awfully familiar.
After all, a news story Sunday actually claimed the Lions' defense could
"carry" this team. That same defense Sunday surrendered six touchdowns and
made Ricky Williams look like a Hall of Famer. If that's carrying the team,
could they please put it down?
"It's just one game," defensive tackle Shaun Rogers said. "Just one of 16. You
never know. We can go 15 in a row."
Yeah. That's what we're afraid of.
'We were awful'
Now for those of you who want the condensed version, two plays really summed
up this game. The first was a botched Lions punt return that started the
second quarter. The ball hit the ground, then bounced up into an unsuspecting
Detroit rookie named Chris Cash. The fact that he was unsuspecting was part of
the problem. He's supposed to look up -- or at least listen to his teammates
yelling, "Get out of the way!"
Instead, the ball ricocheted off Cash and bounced straight to the end zone,
where it waited for a Dolphins player to grab it for a touchdown. Only the
Lions can turn a punt return into points without the other team even having to
run.
"I've seen that happen before," coach Marty Mornhinweg said.
That's not very comforting.
The second sinking -- or was it stinking? -- play was the first play of the
second half. The Lions were already trailing, 28-7, and folks back home were
waiting for the Red Wings opener. Then quarterback Mike McMahon dropped back
and drilled a pass -- straight into the arms of the other team. Miami's Brock
Marion took the ball to Detroit's 2, where it was converted in a touchdown one
play later.
The rout was on.
The opener was history.
"We were awful," team president Matt Millen said afterward, and I have learned
never to argue with the man. It wasn't any one thing, it was so many of them.
It was the defensive line surrendering big running plays, and the secondary --
particularly Eric Davis, who was acquired for his veteran savvy -- playing as
if they never saw a pass before.
It was the special teams on that punt. It was bad tackling. It was five
penalties in less than four minutes. And it was the Lions' offense -- which
was without James Stewart -- that couldn't run and was only so-so passing.
"I'm surprised we came out that flat," cornerback Todd Lyght said. "I am
assuming we had too many missed tackles."
See? Even the players are making those assumptions.
The Lions did send the crowd home early. There were 72,000 for the first
quarter and maybe 72 for the fourth. Gee. There haven't been that many empty
seats in Miami since the last Elian Gonzalez rally.
Ready or not . . .
"Did you feel your team was ready to play?" someone asked Mornhinweg.
"Well, apparently not," he said.
Ask a silly question . . .
As for the quarterback situation? Don't read much into Sunday. McMahon did
enough good things to keep his starting position and enough bad things to keep
his critics counting the days. Joey Harrington, everybody's favorite rookie,
did get into the game, but by the time he did, the Dolphins were choosing from
the dessert menu. Everything was at half-speed. It was less real than the
exhibition season, and besides breaking a sweat, pretty much a useless
exercise.
Miami 49, Detroit 21. And another season is under way -- and underwater.
What's so dismal about this opener is that there was nothing there. Detroit
seemed to have no spark, no adrenaline, no passion. Put it this way: Rodney
Peete had a better day Sunday than the Lions.
And they play his team next week at Carolina.
Everything old is new again. But this new is already old -- and embarrassing
to boot.
"It's not a good tone-setter at all," Lyght said. "We need to get it together
for next week or the same thing is going to happen."
Oh, please. Let us know in advance. The lawn might need mowing.
Contact MITCH ALBOM at 313-223-4581 or albom@freepress.com. Catch "The Mitch
Albom Show" 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WJR-AM (760).
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