8801200662
DETROIT FREE PRESS
880503
Tuesday, May 03, 1988
METRO FINAL CHASER
1D
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1988, Detroit Free Press
CRYSTAL PUCK SAYS . . .IT WILL GO SEVEN
What's gonna happen," you ask, pacing the room in your Red Wings sweater.
"Will Yzerman play? Will Fuhr be beatable? Wings or Oilers? What's gonna
happen? I gotta know."
"Well, OK," I say, rubbing the crystal puck, "if you've gotta know . . .
"
GAME 1: The puck is dropped and -- WHAM! -- Detroit scores three goals in
the first three minutes. "Boy, Calgary got a lot better, eh?" Mark Messier
says to teammate Wayne Gretzky. "We're not playing Calgary anymore," Gretzky
answers. By the time the Oilers recover, the game is out of reach, and the
Wings win, 6-2. Meanwhile, Steve Yzerman is seen on the bench, slipping on a
red jersey.
GAME 2: Detroit coach Jacques Demers, so pleased with the Game 1 effort,
decides to take his team to the world's largest shopping mall, which is the
only thing to do in Edmonton, anyway. On the ride back, several players are
missing. Without them, the Wings struggle in a close affair, losing, 4-3, on a
last-minute power play. "What happened?" someone asks Demers. "I'm not sure,"
he says, "but will someone call K-Mart and have Harold Snepsts paged, please?"
Meanwhile, Yzerman is seen on the bench, in full pads.
GAME 3: The series shifts back to Detroit, where the Ostrum sisters sing
the national anthem for the 127th time. "You know," whispers Gretzky, "they
don't look any older than last year." The game is nip and tuck, with both
goalies, Greg Stefen and Grant Fuhr, making incredible saves. The Wings
finally win, 1-0, when Edmonton's Craig Simpson, a Michigan State alumnus,
accidentally kicks the puck into his own net. "I'm soooo sorry," he tells his
teammates. Suspicion arises when an MSU banner is found in his locker. He
later shows up at a Lansing bar, singing the Spartans' fight song. The Oilers
suspend him for the series. Meanwhile, Yzerman is seen on the bench, lacing
up his skates.
GAME 4: Marty McSorley returns for the Oilers after a three- game
suspension for spearing a player in the Calgary series. "I'm ready to kill,"
he announces, but the Detroit fans shower him with octopi, one of which lands
on his face. McSorley quickly spears the creature and breaks his own nose.
The game begins. Fuhr, who never gets a night off for Edmonton, falls asleep
leaning against the net, but still stops 25 of 27 shots. Gretzky's third goal
of the night wins it for the Oilers, 3-2. "I thought Grant played a super game
tonight," Gretzky says. "Grant? Hey . . . Grant?" Meanwhile, Yzerman is
seen on the bench, wearing a helmet.
GAME 5: Gilbert Delorme, who has sworn not to shave his beard until the
playoffs are done, is stopped by the Edmonton security guards, who do not
believe he is a hockey player. He insists. They refuse. Finally, he is allowed
to pass when he says he is a member of the rock group ZZ Top, here to sing the
national anthem. Demers starts Glen Hanlon in goal, but Hanlon takes a puck to
the groin and leaves. Out comes a rookie goaltender named Sam St. Laurent, who
lasts just 10 minutes before twisting a knee. "Deja vu," whispers Demers.
"SPEAK ENGLISH!" yells his team. Stefan must return, and he fails to stop the
winning shot by Edmonton's Jari Kurri, who is given star-of-the-game honors
for sounding most like something you'd eat at an Indian restaurant.
Meanwhile, Yzerman is seen on the bench, wearing his gloves.
GAME 6: Back in Detroit, controversy erupts. Fuhr, who has now played 800
games in a row for Edmonton, goes out on strike. "Pay me by the save," he
demands. While the Oilers' front office tries to figure how much that will
cost, the game begins. Detroit takes full advantage of Fuhr's absence. Petr
Klima, who has been shadowed all series by Esa Tikkanen, breaks away from him
four times for goals. The Wings win, 6-4. Says Klima: "That guy gives me the
Guillermos." A reporter looks up: "You mean the willies, Petr." Klima: "No,
it's Guillermo now. And you must call me Fred." Meanwhile, Yzerman is seen on
the bench, sifting through sticks.
GAME 7: Planeloads of Red Wings fans make the trip to Edmonton. The mayor
of Detroit bets the mayor of Edmonton a case of Sanders fudge against a trip
to the world's largest shopping mall, where, hopefully, someone will find
Snepsts. The crowd is at fever pitch as the game begins. Suddenly, Yzerman
leaps over the boards and skates onto the ice. Demers, doing his best Al
Michaels impression, yells: "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?" Unfortunately, with
his accent, it comes out: "DO YOU BELIEVE IN TENTACLES!" and 500 excited fans
throw octopi, one of which hits Yzerman in the head and knocks him out. Gerard
Gallant, Shawn Burr and Adam Oates score. It's 3-3 with a minute to play.
Suddenly Yzerman returns, skates out on a breakaway, winds up, shoots ---- .
"And? AND?"
"Sorry. I have to wait for doctor's approval before giving you this
ending."
CUTLINE
Wayne Gretzky