8901210285
DETROIT FREE PRESS
890518
Thursday, May 18, 1989
METRO FINAL CHASER
1D
MITCH ALBOM
SEE ALSO METRO EDITION PAGE 1D
Copyright (c) 1989, Detroit Free Press
WHILE PISTONS WAIT, A RAP TO CONTEMPLATE
I am concerned. I am worried. I think the Pistons have too much time on
their hands. They swept Boston. They sat. They swept Milwaukee. They sit.
What to do? May I suggest . . . music. A new Pistons theme. I don't know
if Isiah can sing, or if Bill Laimbeer can dance (actually it's a pretty safe
bet that Laimbeer can't dance), but a music video might be just the thing to
pass the time. And it's good for team spirit. For example: Ah-one, ah- two .
. .
WE ARE THE PISTONS, SHUFFLING CREW,
SITTING AROUND, WITH NOTHING TO DO
BULLS & KNICKS ARE TAKING THEIR TIME,
SO WE CUT THIS RAP, WATCH US RHYME,
WE ARE THE PISTONS, MIGHTY AND MEAN
FINEST SET OF HOOPERS YOU EVER SEEN
PEOPLE CALL US BAD, SURELY THEY JEST
WE JUST LIKE TO STICK
AN ELBOW IN YOUR CHEST
My name is Zeke, I kiss on the cheek
But only if it's Magic and that's unique
I'm the captain, I've been good,
been waiting for a ring since my childhood
I shoot, I assist, wear a bandage on my wrist
Break my fingers, smash my foot, I will not miss
Another game, my threshold for pain, I can say-uh
Has always been high, right, Mom?
Ooooh, Isiah
ISIAH, ISIAH, HE'LL MAKE YOU PAY-UH
VJ, VJ, TAKE IT AWAY-UH
Lemme have that mike . . . Vinny is my name
The Microwave is the way I play the game
Hot? Can I get hot?
I don't wanna overtalk it
But I grab a glass of cocoa milk,
it turns into hot chocolate
THANKS FOR THE RAP, VIN -- WHAT A PRO,
NOW LET'S HEAR FROM QUIET GUARD, JOE
My name is Joe
Well, I
gotta go
GO ON, JOE, YOU CAN GO,
YOU PUT ON A SHOW . . . .SCRATCH!
zzyz-zzyzpp . . . .zyzz-zzyzyzpp . . . zyzpzyzpp
My name's Mahorn (ugh) here's my elbow (whack)
People say I'm dirty but I say hell no (smack)
It's just these midgets (crunch),
with all their twists (ooomph),
keep running (pow) into (boom) my open FISTS
Lemme have it Rick, I'm Bad Boy Bill,
Can't run, can't jump, they hate me still
They say I have no rhythm but I don't know where
they get that from to be honest
I mean, because, um . . .
what beat are we on?
THAT'S OK, BILL, YOU KEEP TRYING
WORM OVER HERE WILL KEEP ON FLYING
I'm Dennis . . . over here . . . now I'm on the floor
I jump the seats and clean the boards,
I shoulda been named defensive player of the year,
I stick to my man, I'm in his ear,
I can tell you what Jordan had for breakfast
I can tell you if McHale needs to see the dentist
So what do they want? My brain is reeling
Guess I'll take a charging foul--ooomph!
(I love that feeling)
WE ARE PISTONS, WE DON'T FLY COACH,
GOT OUR OWN PLANE, BEYOND REPROACH,
WE LAND WHEN WE WANT TO,
WE LEAVE WHEN WE LIKE
SOMETIMES WE LET RICKEY FLY IT
NO, JUST KIDDING
The name is Chuck, I got lots of tricks
With plenty of talent to throw into my mix,
Got Zeke, Mark, Joe, Bill, Rick, what's more
got Halston, Ellis, and Christian Dior
YOUR HAIR IS GREAT, COACH, VERY STYLEY
And I use no grease, eat your heart out, Pat Riley
CHUCK'S OUR COACH, TO HIM WE HEED,
HE SAYS PLAID, WE GO WITH TWEED
Sal-Sal here, just checking in
On my car phone, darlin', guess where I been?
At Ogilvy and Mather, then Madison Ave
A few more commercials I soon will have
Playoffs are when my game goes crazy,
. . . what agency were you from now, baby?
Lemme have it, Sal, it's Bad Boy Bill again,
I didn't hit Bird, I didn't hit Parish, then
How come they keep yelling Laimbeer S---s!
Who cares? Watch me break dance . . . unhhh, clunk.
NICE TRY BILLY, YOU SURE LOOK SILLY
LOOK LIKE THE PRETZEL GUY IN PHILLY
I'm Brendan No. 1 . . . I'm Brendan No. 2,
he keeps taking my luggage
I do not! You do too--
HEY BRENDANS, CHILL!
TRY DANCING WITH BILL
The name's Aguirre, I was acquired
in the middle of the season, when I was tired
of playing in Texas, I'll make it clearer
Happiness is Dallas in your rearview mirror
SING IT, BUDDHA . . . We're the best!
SING IT, LONG . . . Don't mess!
SING IT, ROOKIES . . . Can we take off our sweats?
zzzzyzpp . . . zzzyzpp . . . zzzyzpp . . .
WE ARE THE PISTONS, WE'RE JUST WAITING
FOR THE NEXT TEAM WE'RE SALIVATING
YOU KNOW WE'LL BEAT 'EM, BE ON OUR WAY
GOT A DATE WITH MAGIC IN SUNNY LA
WE ARE THE PISTONS, WE AIN'T NO FAD
OR AS MICHAEL WOULD SAY . . .
WHO'S BAAAAAAD?
Well. How's that? At least it rhymes. After all, even the Chicago Bears
had a song.
And the Pistons hit harder than them.
COLUMN;DPISTONS;Pistons