8901310826
DETROIT FREE PRESS
890804
Friday, August 04, 1989
METRO FINAL
1D
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1989, Detroit Free Press
NO FEAR OF HEIGHTS FROM LIONS' GNATS
"Don't want no short people round here. . . ."
Randy Newman
This is great. This is really great. I am standing in the cafeteria of the
Lions' training camp, talking to several players, and I am looking at them
eye to eye. My neck does not ache. They do not threaten to step on me. They
are my size. This is great.
I am no longer in the Land of The Giants. I am in Land of the Gnats. The
Lions have 16 wide receivers in camp, and the average height is 5-feet-8. The
average weight is 180 pounds. Hey. I have friends who fit those measurements.
Of course, most of their 180 pounds hangs over their belts.
But never mind that. This is my kind of football offense. They buy clothes
off the rack. They eat one steak at a time. They fit into a Volvo. Wide
receivers. Really. NFL caliber. At 5-feet-8. They told us the Lions would use
the run-and-shoot this year.
They didn't say how low they were shooting.
"I've been hearing I was too short since high school," says new receiver
Keith McDonald, who is 5-7. "What can I do? My father is 6 feet tall and I
kept waiting to grow. After a while I figured, 'Hmmm. Maybe I take after my
grandparents.' "
"I've heard it all," says new receiver Kelley Johnson, who is 5-8. "In
the USFL, they called us The Mouseketeers. In Canada, they called us The
Smurfs. You get used to it."
"This is fun," says Mel Gray, 5-9, a return specialist who starred last
year with the Saints. "For once, I'm not the smallest guy in camp."
Smallest?
When the guys play basketball, Mel is the center.
Average height is a growing pain
This is great. This, I can relate to. I am, shall we say, of average
height. At least it was average a few years ago. The darn average keeps
getting taller. Alas, I do not.
Which has its ups and downs, so to speak. As a sports writer, I am
constantly in the shadow of the taller man, the stronger man. Sometimes the
fatter man. Always the bigger man. I have interviewed athletes from the
armpit, the elbow, and once -- in the case of Manute Bol -- the belly button.
Not fun. For one thing, I couldn't tell when he was smiling.
No such problem in Lions camp at Oakland University. See that guy over
there? Looks like a student? Oops. That is a student. See that other guy? Same
height? Little more muscular?
Jason Phillips, 5-7, 166 pounds.
Wide receiver.
"Being smaller has its advantages," he says. "Your cuts are easier, and
sometimes you can escape a tackle. In college, when we (Houston) played
Arkansas, a big linebacker came after me, going for my head. I ducked, he
missed, and I got away."
See? How about that?
Less is more. The Lions have tried that philosophy for years. This season,
however, it could finally make sense. Imagine an offense with a pack of
little water bug receivers, darting around the field. "Bzzzzzz" they could
say, as they passed the defenders. "Bzzzzzz . . . bzzzzzz . . .
hereIcomehereIcome . . . bzzzzzz. . . ."
Drive 'em crazy.
And it could work. As of this morning, the Lions run-and- shoot with two
receivers at 5-8 (Johnson and James Dixon), four at 5-7 (Lonnie Turner, Stacey
Mobley, Phillips and McDonald) and one at 5-6 (Richard Johnson). A nice
camaraderie is developing among these men, partly because they form a young,
vibrant offense, and partly because they sometimes need a boost to reach the
upper shelf of their lockers.
Of course, height is not the real reason behind the Lions' shift from
full-size to compact. "It's speed," says McDonald, "the run-and-shoot requires
speed, quickness. I don't think management went looking for short people. It
just worked out that way."
Hey. The offense is coached by a man named Mouse. What did you expect?
King Kong?
Downsizing trend could spread
Now, it is true, the height thing can present problems for Detroit
quarterbacks. When they send a guy 10 steps and turn, they have to account for
smaller steps -- or the ball lands in the seats. And when the receiver leaps
for the pass, the quarterback must account for his height -- or the ball lands
in the seats. Then, of course, there's the usual problem with Lions
quarterbacks, which is: The ball lands in the seats.
But that was then. This is now. I have seen the future, and it shops in
the teen department. The Gnat Attack. I like it. Think of the highlight films.
"One time in the USFL, these two big defensive backs were coming at me
from both sides," says Richard Johnson. "So I just dropped down, and they
smashed into each other. Bang."
Hmmm.
This could be a trend. I see short hockey players, ducking the stick of
some big goon, and the stick hits the referee and the goon gets thrown out. I
see a short man winning the heavyweight crown by taking out Mike Tyson's
kneecaps. "The winner and new champion, at five foot one and a half. . . ."
It is the retribution I have waited for my entire career. Me, and the rest
of the under-six-foot crowd. "I'd say to all the short people out there, keep
with it," says Gray. "People saying you can't make it just makes you want it
more."
Which means these guys want it real bad. The Gnat Attack. Coming this
fall. Or maybe sooner. You never know.
One of us might be under your couch right now.
COLUMN;HEIGHT;FOOTBALL;ATHLETE;DECREASE;HUMOR;SIZE