8602120367
DETROIT FREE PRESS
860921
Sunday, September 21, 1986
METRO FINAL
7D
MITCH ALBOM
the picks
Copyright (c) 1986, Detroit Free Press
QBS TAKE LICKING, SOMETIMES KEEP TICKING
This week, let's talk quarterback.
"ARRGH! MY RIBS!"
Why should you want to be a quarterback? Well, many reasons. Quarterback is
probably the most fun position anyone can have in sports.
"ARRGH! MY SHOULDER!"
For instance, quarterbacks always get a lot of attention. Their teammates
circle around them like scouts around a cubmaster.
"LEFT! I SAID LEFT, MORON!"
A quarterback also gets to talk to the coach during the game, thereby
developing a friendship he will cherish his entire career.
"YOU GO OUT AND THROW IT, CLIPBOARD-FACE!"
Most fun of all is the long pass, where the quarterback gets to drop back
and loft a carefully thrown spiral, and watch it float gently back to earth.
"UMMPH! HEY. LEMME UP."
Quarterbacks enjoy a high profile and are always happy. Take Joe Montana
of San Francisco. Or, well, no . . . he's not a real good example right now.
How about Gary Hogeboom? Uh, Jim McMahon! Yeah. No? Well . . .
Women! There are always lots of women wanting to date quarterbacks. That
must be fun.
"DANCE? AW, BABY, I CAN'T EVEN STAND UP."
Cars! Quarterbacks have nice c--.
"DRIVE? MAN, MY KNEES ARE BROKEN."
So, you, uh, see, quarterbacking is the way to go. A fun and relaxing way
to sports success. Next week we will talk about another rewarding career, the
tackling dummy.
But first, this week's picks.
"OH. I CAN HARDLY WAIT."
Ahem . . .
LIONS 30, BUCS 17: The Lions are manly men. Darryl Rogers is a manly coach.
It is time to do the manly thing. Beat up on someone weaker than us.
BRONCOS 20, EAGLES 17: Buddy Ryan cried last week after his team lost. Now
he can weep.
RAIDERS 16, GIANTS 13: If the Raiders lose three in a row, they will eat
their spikes.
BILLS 34, CARDS 14: Aw, shucks. Let Jim Kelly win one.
OILERS 21, CHIEFS 10: Hey. Now here's an exciting game.
VIKINGS 24, STEELERS 10: Remember when this would have been a prime-time
battle?
BENGALS 30, BROWNS 13: I call this my best bet of the week.
PATRIOTS 13, SEAHAWKS 12: . . . no, wait . . . SEAHAWKS 13, PATRIOTS 12 .
. . uh . . . hold it . . . PATRIOTS 14, SEAHAWKS 13 . . . well, it'll be one
of those.
49ERS 35, SAINTS 7: Joe who?
COWBOYS 21, FALCONS 20: Atlanta undefeated? No. We can't have that. Uh-uh.
No way. Let's fix that right now, mister.
RAMS 27, COLTS 10: Talk to these two teams about quarterbacks. In fact,
bring one with you, and they'll sign him.
DOLPHINS 30, JETS 23: I think New York has won enough this week, don't you?
REDSKINS 27, CHARGERS 24: I did not think Washington would beat the
Raiders last week, and it did. I do not think it will beat the Chargers this
week. So it probably will.
BEARS 19, PACKERS 10 (MONDAY NIGHT): Jim McMahon is injured. Todd Bell is
hurting. Walter Payton is tired. So what? This is Green Bay we're talking
about.
BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Denver 28, Pittsburgh 10. Denver won, 21-10.
WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Detroit 24, Dallas 17. Dallas won, 31-7.
RECORD LAST WEEK: 10-4. Maybe I should be a quarterback.
"ARRRGH!"
Maybe not.
FOOTBALL;FORECAST