8902140519
DETROIT FREE PRESS
891105
Sunday, November 05, 1989
METRO FINAL
1D
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1989, Detroit Free Press
PISTONS' NEW SEASON: NOT BAD - JUST FINE
Well, the NBA season is finally under way. And judging by the excitement at
the Pistons' season opener, fans around here can't wait. And so I say . . .
why wait? I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen:
NOVEMBER: The Pistons open strongly, winning five of their first six.
Unfortunately, against the Bulls, James Edwards is fined $1,500 for touching
Michael Jordan's sneaker and Joe Dumars is fined $750 for breathing in
Jordan's air space. "Why not fine me for being here?" asks a furious Chuck
Daly. "All right," says the ref, and writes him up for $500. Back at the
Palace, Bill Laimbeer has claimed Rick Mahorn's old locker. "We were so
close," he says, wiping away a tear, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I just put
a few things in here. . . . " Elsewhere, at Boston Garden, the Celtics begin
their season with four straight sellouts. The fans roar when Bird, Parrish,
McHale and Johnson rise from their wheelchairs. The first NBA game is played
in Orlando, but confused fans keep asking "Is this an E ticket, or a D
ticket?" In Chicago, newlywed Jordan makes history with the first
quintuple-double: 34 points, 22 assists, 19 rebounds, 14 steals and 10 notes
from women who say he married the wrong girl.
DECEMBER: The Pistons continue to roll, winning 12 of their first 15, but
the fines are mounting. Mark Aguirre is slapped with a $1,000 penalty for
wiping his nose near a referee. John Salley is charged $1,000 for looking at
Moses Malone. "We're not bad, we're good," Isiah Thomas insists. "Yeah," say
the referees, "that's what Al Capone said." Meanwhile, the San Antonio Spurs
are the surprise of the league, grabbing first place in the Midwest Division.
Larry Brown denies rumors he will leave to coach William & Mary. Or maybe just
Mary. In Los Angeles, fans are abuzz over Magic Johnson's new look: He has
shaved his head and is wearing goggles. In New York, CBS announcer Dick Vitale
quits after a game between Golden State and Portland, in which Drazen Petrovic
stuffs Sarunas Marciulionis. "Forget this," he says, "I need a Berlitz
course." Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, Mahorn fails to show up. The 76ers trade
him to Milwaukee for Gerald Henderson and a case of Strohs.
JANUARY: The Pistons host the Lakers in a long-awaited showdown at the
Palace. Isiah and Magic Johnson do not kiss each other this time, but Pat
Riley does ask Daly to dance. The games is close, but the Pistons win,
100-97, after referee Earl Strom pops a hamstring. "I'm surprised he didn't
blame it on us," mumbles Daly. The next day, Daly receives a letter from Strom
blaming him, and fining him $2,000. Meanwhile, in Atlanta, the Hawks are
slumping, and, in an effort to boost ticket sales, they host Roller Skating
Night. Guard Doc Rivers invites his father to take part. "Who's that?" someone
asks. "Old man Rivers," says Dominique Wilkins, "he just keeps rolling."
Things are bad for the Minnesota Timberwolves, who have to forfeit the season
after the whole team quits, retires, goes to Europe or refuses to come out of
the bathroom. And in Milwaukee, Rick Mahorn is once again a no-show. He is
traded to Denver for Blair Rasmussen and a free meal at Wendy's.
FEBRUARY: Sacramento declares February "Ralph Sampson Month." All games are
canceled after every player in the NBA, in celebration of the event, sits at
home and begins to whine.
MARCH: The Pistons host the Mavericks at the Palace. Before the opening tap,
Adrian Dantley pulls Isiah Thomas aside and whispers something in his ear.
Isiah smiles, then misses his first 10 shots. The Pistons win the game,
however, when the referee calls a foul on Dantley for taking too much time
rubbing his head at the free throw line. Meanwhile, John Salley reaches the
100 mark -- in endorsements. And Bill Laimbeer makes history when he actually
holds a door open for a woman. Of course the woman is old, blind and in a
wheelchair -- "So, what the heck?" says Laimbeer. Rick Mahorn is waived by
Denver, and picked up by the Clippers. "Do you think he'll show?" coach Don
Casey is asked. "We have a better chance of seeing God," Casey says.
APRIL/MAY/JUNE: The playoffs begin. The Pistons defeat Philadelphia, Boston,
and, yes, Chicago, after Jordan is hospitalized with an injured tongue.
Meanwhile, the Lakers, who acquired Mahorn from the Clippers for a road map
and a pack of Dentyne, storm to the Finals, beating San Antonio, Portland, and
Phoenix. The championships are a rematch of last year. Joe Dumars averages 30
and 10 a game -- points and words-per- interview. Magic Johnson brings a
personal trainer to work his hamstring. The series goes to a seventh game,
Pistons leading, 103-102 with six seconds left. James Worthy drives toward the
hoop, wide open, but Mahorn, now his teammate, "accidently" bumps into him,
Worthy falls down, and the game ends. Pistons win! The next morning, Mahorn
is cut from the Lakers. He is picked up by the Pistons, who vote him a playoff
share. "Welcome back!" says Laimbeer. "Thanks," says Mahorn, "now get your
stuff outta my locker."
Mitch Albom's sports talk show, "The Sunday Sports Albom," celebrates its
first anniversary tonight from 9 to 11 p.m. on WLLZ-FM (98.7) Guests: Kirk
Gibson, Jimmy Carson, John Salley.