9201040140
DETROIT FREE PRESS
920127
Monday, January 27, 1992
METRO FINAL
1C
MITCH ALBOM
SEE ALSO METRO FINAL CHASER EDITION, Page 1C
Copyright (c) 1992, Detroit Free Press
ONCE AGAIN, AFC PROVIDES A SACRIFICIAL SUPER LAMB
MINNEAPOLIS -- At the risk of being rude, I think it's time the members of
the American Football Conference took their marbles and went home. This is not
their game, this Super Bowl thing. They have about as much fun here as the
guy in the sponge toss who gets dropped in the water. Splash! Down goes this
year's AFC sacrifice, the Buffalo Bills, in embarrassing fashion, 37-24, to
the Washington Redskins. Don't let the final score fool you. Here was another
Super Bowl so lopsided that Washington was ready to dump Gatorade on coach Joe
Gibbs -- at halftime.
Remember 24 hours ago, when this was supposed to be a "classic" matchup,
the two best teams in football? Yes. And I'm Ethel Merman. It only goes to
show you that the two conferences must be playing with different-sized balls.
This wasn't a game, it was a beheading. It was a pit bull against a poodle.
Dick Butkus against Dick York.
Just before halftime, when the writing was already on the wall, Jim Kelly
pulled his offensive line together and screamed, "WE HAVE GOT TO WIN THIS
GAME!"
They were obviously too embarrassed to ask the obvious question:
"HOW?"
The answer is, nohow. No way. No chance. When the Bills weren't killing
themselves with interceptions, when they weren't seeing their passes batted
into the air, when they weren't fumbling, dropping, tripping, or missing
tackles -- they were watching Air Washington execute flight patterns over
their heads. Not only did the Redskins win playing Redskins football, they won
playing Buffalo Bills football, too. It was Washington that used the no-huddle
offense most effectively; it was Washington that put the meanest pass rush on
the quarterback; it was Washington that scored enough points for a month.
Meanwhile, the Bills were having a nightmare only John Elway could
appreciate. Speaking of Elway, wasn't it his team, the Broncos, which lost
three of the four Super Bowls before the two in a row that Buffalo has now
lost? Throw in Cincinnati, New England and Miami, and you've got eight years
straight that the NFC has left the AFC for dead.
I don't know. If I'm the AFC, I say, "Fellas, I'm outta here. Go pick on
someone from the World League."
OK, credit the Skins But OK. Before some congressman calls me on his
hotline, let me add that this is not meant to take anything away from the new
Kings of the Hill, the Redskins, who are to their opponents what bad lighting
is to an aging movie star -- they make you look even worse than you are. They
show every wrinkle, every blotch, every imperfection. Next to the Redskins,
Hercules would need a health-club membership. I don't know how they got so
good so fast -- they didn't even make the NFC championship game last year --
but however they did it, they did it all the way. Their passing game is
frightening, their running game is dominant, their defense can smother you on
the ground and in the air, and they win every battle on both the offensive and
defensive lines.
Dominant? It says something about a team when its three easiest games of
the season are 1) the playoff opener, 2) the NFC championship, and 3) the
Super Bowl.
I mean, what's left?
"I'm just happy to be part of this football team," gushed Mark Rypien, the
quarterback voted MVP for his impressive two- touchdown, 292-yard passing
performance. Oh, the Bills managed to touch the hem of his garment a few
times -- something the Lions were unable to do in the NFC championship game
-- but even when they knocked him down, he seemed to complete his passes. His
finest moment was surely in the third quarter, when Buffalo burped its only
real burst of effort, closed the score to 24-10 (if you can call that closing
the score) and he responded with a third-down, 30-yard missive smack into the
hands of Gary Clark. Touchdown. End of story. That sound you heard was the
cash register ringing up Rypien's new contract for next year.
"HOW SWEET IT IS!" hollered cornerback Darrell Green in the postgame
locker room. Sweet and complete. Let's remember that the Redskins had their
first touchdown overruled by an instant- replay reversal, and blew their first
field-goal try by muffing the snap. Let's also remember that they played most
of the second half on cruise control, just waiting for the clock to run out.
And the second half is when Buffalo scored all its points. The game was
essentially won in the first half, when the Skins outgained Buffalo by a 3-1
margin, and held the Bills to eight yards rushing.
"We knew we had to get to Jim Kelly quick," said Redskins defensive end
Charles Mann. "I think we confused him early."
Confused? Kelly thought the field smelled liked napalm. He was
intercepted four times, sacked five times, knocked down 10 times and hurried
14 times. Here are some pictures that won't make the Buffalo highlight reel:
Kelly opening the second half with an interception that his own receiver never
saw but that Washington's Kurt Gouveia caught and returned to the Buffalo 2; a
Kelly pass he had to catch himself -- after it was batted back in his face;
Kelly having the ball -- and almost his arm -- stripped by a blitzing Alvoid
Mays.
The Skins not only put Buffalo on the carpet, they put them on the couch.
You thought the Bills had mental quirks before? Kelly, Mr. Cocky, will now be
wandering around the house looking for his swagger. Thurman Thomas, who
complained all week about being underappreciated, went right out there Sunday
and disappeared -- 10 rushes, 13 yards. Hey Thurman. It was a game, not a
press conference. Bruce Smith, who tells people he's the best in the business,
will now have to hand out his business card again. And Marv Levy, whom
everyone calls a genius because a long time ago he spent some time at Harvard
University, well, he'll have to work hard not to become the next Dan Reeves.
After the game, Levy summed things up by quoting Winston Churchill:
"Defeat," he said, "no matter how explained or excused, is still odious."
Yeah.
Huh?
Try odorous Well, whether it be odious, or in Sunday's case, just
odorous, it still leads us to the same conclusion: We need to do something
about this AFC-NFC thing. I mean, if they're going to give us a three-hour
pregame show, a ridiculously opulent halftime show complete with grand
pianos, fireworks and ice-skating champions, well, the least they can do is
give us a good game. With the exception of last year's nail-biter between the
Bills and the Giants (and remember the Giants were a long shot coming in),
these "Super" games have generally been super bad for the AFC.
"I can't really believe it," Thomas said afterwards.
"It's frustrating," Kelly said.
"To be honest," Smith said, "I'm still in dismay."
See what I mean? This isn't fun. This isn't a reward for having the best
record in your conference. To come out and get embarrassed? Nuh-uh. We need
to do something, send the AFC out for some additional training, maybe some
tougher opponents. I've got it. Send the Philadelphia Eagles and Chicago Bears
over to their side. That'll toughen 'em up. Or drive 'em crazy.
But something, we should do something. Otherwise, they might as well give
the rings out after the NFC championship game. We are creating another Denver
Broncos here with these Buffalo Bills, a new AFC whipping boy, and believe me,
nobody wants that.
"I can't remember all of the game," Kelly said. "But the part I remember I
didn't like."
Unfortunately, Jim, you're speaking for all of us.
FOOTBALL; SUPER BOWL; GAME