9001050281
DETROIT FREE PRESS
900202
Friday, February 02, 1990
METRO FINAL
1C
Photo
:
John?
Jerry? . . . Come back to us, Jerry
Coach Chuck
Coach Ed
MITCH ALBOM
SEE ALSO METRO EDITION, PAGE 1C
Copyright (c) 1990, Detroit Free Press
EXCUSES? BRONCOS HAVE 'EM TO SPARE
THE LIVE ALBOM
* Ever since I returned from the Super Bowl, people have been asking me, "How
did you like the game?"* And I say, "Fine. How did you like the Grenada
Invasion?"
* Excuses The Broncos Can Use This Summer:
1. "Can you believe those refs?"
2. " . . . and the next thing I know, this guy has stolen my uniform and is
out there screwing up--"
3. "What game?"
* By the way, as you can see here, John Elway has already decided on his
off-season disguise.
* Actually, I feel sorry for Elway. He tried his best. Besides, he did pull
off the nearly impossible: He made Terry Bradshaw look smart.
* Did you catch the NHL salary list that came out this week? Now I see why
hockey players are so nice. Some of them can't even afford a butler.
* Speaking of salaries, Steve Yzerman, at a listed income of $700,000, is --
and I swallow when I say this -- grossly underpaid. Even if bonuses bring him
over a million. Why should Gretzky and Lemiuex almost double what he makes?
* More Denver Excuses:
4. "My sick aunt had San Fran giving 46."
5. " . . . and just as we kick off, that crawfish I ate starts coming up on
me. And I say whuhh-oh--"
6. "They cheated."* The college basketball fans have noticed a change in
UNLV coach Jerry Tarkanian. He seems shorter, walks with a cane, and says
things like, "When you dribble, the force with you she must be."
* Well. This is interesting. Mark Aguirre is now a sub and wants to keep it
that way. Dennis Rodman, now a starter, would prefer his old role back as sub.
Amazing. This may be the first time two NBA players fight for bench time.
* INSENSITIVE JERKS OF THE MONTH AWARD: To the Charlotte Hornets, who fired
coach Dick Harter the same day his brother, John, died of cancer. Jeez,
Charlotte. Did you tell him to get out of town by sunrise, too?
* After watching Michigan lose to Purdue Wednesday, I thought winning the Big
Ten would be nearly impossible for the Wolverines. Now, with Sean Higgins out
three to four weeks, "nearly impossible" may be optimistic.
* Two years ago, Doug Williams led the Washington Redskins to the Super Bowl
crown. He was a hero. The MVP. Now the Redskins have likely left him
unprotected as a Plan B free agent. I know glory fades. But so fast?
* Farewell to jockey Bill Shoemaker, who rides for the last time Saturday
afternoon. The man has ridden in over 40,000 horse races. And he still walks
straight. I can't believe it.
* This is my least favorite time of the year for college football.
Recruiting. Many coaches do it cleanly. Some do not. Therefore, this simple
translation guide for the innocent recruit:
1. "Academics is our No. 1 priority, son."
(If you can find time to study, good for you.)
2. "I see you starting as a freshman, son."
(I can't even remember your name right now.)
3. "Son, your mama sure can cook."
(My Golden Retriever wouldn't eat this food.)
* I'm no expert on television. But isn't it funny how juicy stories like
newcasters in barroom brawls arise on the first day of ratings periods?
* Chuck Noll did a great coaching job with the Steelers this season, and
seems to be regaining the popularity he lost two years ago when he approved
the JOA under his stage name, Ed Meese.
Mitch Albom's sports talk show, "The Sunday Sports Albom," airs Sunday from 9
to 11 p.m. on WLLLZ-FM (98.7). Guests: Joe Dumars, Lee Norwood.
COLUMN; FOOTBALL; BRONCOS