9402030514
DETROIT FREE PRESS
940921
Wednesday, September 21, 1994
METRO FINAL
1F
Photo
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1994, Detroit Free Press
THE HUDDLE
Ho-hum. Another week, another Monday night victory over the Dallas Cowboys.
By the way, in honor of that historic moment, there's a new dress code in
The Huddle. Blue socks. Those long, cool, up-to- the-knee things that made
the Lions look like the guy from Quaker Oats. From now on, we wear them EVERY
DAY until the Lions lose. If socks can make you play like that, I'm wearing
them in the shower.
WHO'S IN THIS WEEK: Barry Sanders, Chris Spielman, Lomas Brown, Jason (Aw,
I Was Just Practicing On Those Other Kicks) Hanson . . . to heck with it. All
the Lions are in, including you, Wayne Fontes. Hey! Stop kissing me, Wayne!
People will talk!
WHO'S OUT: ABC's Dick Vermeil, for using a telestrator to show how big
George Perles' belly is. C'mon, Dick. You can't do that. Only we can do that.
OK. Repeat after me. "One, two, Emmitt Who?"
HUDDLE UP!
Hey, pals, what about me?
Rodney Peete! Our old friend!
Howya doin'? Can I get in the huddle?
Is this the same Rodney Peete who said this week: "I hope the Cowboys win
by 40. . . . I have no loyalties to Detroit.' That Rodney Peete?
Uh. I was misquoted.
Of course. You'd never forget that when you came out of college NOBODY
DRAFTED YOU IN 140 PICKS! And the Lions gave you YOUR ONLY CHANCE! I'm sure
that just slipped your mind.
It did. I'm really happy the Lions won.
Thank you.
Can I get in the huddle now?
Not a chance, Texas-breath.
Yo, Huddle? How about including me? Back in the '60s, I played for the
undefeated Albion College Britons. That was when REAL MEN played football,
when turf meant grass, not some sissy carpet, when you were dying of thirst,
and you grabbed salt tablets. . . . Also, I can pray. (signed) Pastor John
Ellinger, First United Methodist Church, Holland.
OK, OK, you're in. Just don't hit me.
Hey, Huddle, did Brent Musburger really say someone should "send a big
slab of beef" to George Perles?
Right after they send Brent a new brain.
Hey, Huddle, what do you think about Deion Sanders' headband slogan: "You
gotta believe"?
I gotta believe Tug McGraw is suing.
Hey, Huddle, Jerry Jones said criticism "puts gas in my tank." What does
that mean?
It means don't stand downwind of Jerry.
Hey, Huddle. Can the Lions wear those throwback uniforms all the time?
I say YES! I say DEMAND IT! I say call the Lions' offices right now,
1-810-335-4131, and tell them to keep dressing like that. FAX THEM! HOUND
THEM! TELL THEM THE HUDDLE SENT YOU!
And after that, call the referees and tell them to give their throwback
uniforms back. Who designed those? Robert Trent Jones?
WHICH IS THE PROPER PHOTO CAPTION?
1. "Your shot, Arnie."
2. "Morning, Smithers." "Morning, sir."
3. "Payne Stewart, your brother's here."
Hey, Huddle. Is it true the Falcons recently had to cover a bad check
written by Andre Rison for $29,000?
And the guy at the supermarket checked his ID and everything.
Hey, Huddle. Who wrote the Book of Love?
Oh, I wonder, wonder.
Hello, men. Can I get in the huddle?
Lou Holtz. Didn't you try to get in last week?
Yes. But you said I was a loser last week. Now, I'm a winner.
A whiner?
No, a winner. We beat Michigan State.
Oh. Well. Congratulations. Normally, we'd admit you, but we just passed a
new rule. Nobody who uses Froggy's haircut from the Little Rascals can get in.
But I --
Shoo, fly.
Dear Huddle: I have always wondered why, once someone becomes famous,
their head swells? (signed) Ron Danneels, St. Clair Shores.
It's not that their head swells. It that they start going to Lou Holtz's
barber.
Dear Huddle: I never miss this column. Your boss should give you a raise.
Also, I must know your latest NFL rankings poll.
Thanks, Dad. Here 'tis.
TOP: 1. Kansas City. 2. Miami 3. NY Giants.
BOTTOM: 27. Houston 28. Buddy Ball.
Hey, Huddle. What's with the NCAA telling that Florida lineman he can't
write restaurant reviews for his school newspaper?
And the kid was good, too! He wrote that you could trust his judgment
because "when I try a restaurant, I eat the whole left side of the menu."
Hey, Huddle. Does Michigan have a chance against Colorado this weekend?
All they have to do is wear these socks.
Yo, Huddle, what's that in your hand?
It's the telestrator. We're going to show you the holes in Dick
Vermeil's head . . .
Send letters, questions or reasons you should be admitted to the Huddle to
The Huddle, Detroit Free Press Sports, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226, or
fax at 1-313-222-5983.