9402050182
DETROIT FREE PRESS
941004
Tuesday, October 04, 1994
METRO FINAL
1C
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1994, Detroit Free Press
THE HUDDLE
I think it's only fitting that we begin this week's Huddle with a prayer.
All together now: "May the Lord bless and keep the Lions' special teams . . .
OFF THE FIELD!"
Amen.
HUDDLE UP!
WHO'S IN THIS WEEK: Tyrone Wheatley, Randall Cunningham, Barry Sanders
(lifetime membership), the Michigan State running backs, Don (Father Knows
Best) Shula and WJR's Jerry Hanlon, for saying, on the air, that someone was
getting married "in Las Vegas, Calif." As a prize for making the Huddle,
Jerry, we're sending you on a fun-filled weekend to Atlantic City, Fla.!
WHO'S OUT: Do the words Silver and Blue give you a hint?
Hey, guys. How about Mr. History getting in?
Well, well, it's Vernon Turner. The former Lion who ran one back on his
old team Sunday. You're the first Buc ever to score on a punt return.
Congratulations! That was some run!
I know. I was great. Can I get in now?
Well, Vern, the good news is, you made history.
Yeah!
The bad news is, you're still on Tampa Bay.
Uh. . . .
Now beat it, Buc-head.
Excuse me, Huddle.
Jason Hanson! Excuse you? We oughta slap you! You blew a chip shot Sunday!
A high school kick! What happened? You used to be Superman. But ever since
you hurt yourself on that tackle in the season opener, you kick like Charlie
Brown with Lucy holding.
I know. I don't deserve to be in the Huddle. I'm lower than mud. I look up
at worms. Can I just practice over here?
Go ahead. Kick 1,000 through and then you can get back in. But if we ever
catch you tackling again, we're shipping you and Jerry Hanlon to El Paso,
Mass.
OK. Huddle. I'm sorry, too. Let me have it.
Robert Porcher! Aw. You poor thing. Come here, big fella. I wanna whisper
something in your ear.
OFFSIDE! OFFSIDE! OFFSIDE!
But . . . but . . .
Now go home and practice your snap counts.
Pardon me, Huddle, do I qualify?
Hmm. That jaw. That white hair. It's Bill Walsh! Is this the same Bill
Walsh who said in his book that Lou Holtz is "a little spoiled brat"?
Well, yes . . . I'm afraid I did.
Come on in! My kind of guy!
Question for you, Huddle. If that radio person calls herself The Fabulous
Sports Babe, why didn't the baseball player call himself The Fabulous Babe
Ruth, or the golfer call herself The Fabulous Babe Didriksen?
Because those people had, you know, talent.
Is it true that Rodney Peete proposed to his actress girlfriend during
the taping of her show, because it was the only way Rodney could get any
airtime?
You're so cynical.
Yo, Huddle! Green or Blue?
Are we picking draperies?
No. You know. Michigan-Michigan State.
Oh, that little game. Well. Let's see. Does Michigan State have anyone who
can throw 70 yards on the last play of the game?
Not really.
OK. I pick Michigan.
But the Spartans have a killer defense.
OK. I pick Michigan State. I'm easy.
TIME OUT FOR THE MAILBAG . . .
"Dear sir; I am a Huddle wannabe. Admit me ASAP or I shall hurl verbal
abuse in your direction (signed) Bob Van Sickle, Holland, Mich.
You're in. I haven't heard language that pretty since Grant Hill's press
conference.
Dear Huddle: I dare you to admit me. Here's my ins: Barry Sanders, Dan
Dierdorf, Elvis Grbac. Here's my outs: Fehr. Selig. Bettman. Here's my
question: Who's the Joker? Answer: Nicholson. Ron Daneels, St. Clair Shores.
Ron, have you been skipping your medication?
Hey, Huddle. I live and die for your NFL poll, but last week I missed it.
So you're dead?
Well, I came back. Can I see it? Pleeease?
OK, boss. Here it is. After extensive polling of everyone sitting at my
desk, this week's NFL poll is: 1. San Diego, 2. Dallas, 3. Miami, 4. Kansas
City . . . 26. Detroit, 27. Denver, 28. Cincinnati.
Hey, Huddle, in the NFL, what is the difference between "questionable" and
"doubtful"?
The Lions' playoff chances and their pass rush.
OK, Huddle, I'm back.
Jerry Hanlon. What happened?
I went to Atlantic City. What a beautiful state that Florida is. Thanks
for the trip.
No problem. See you in Pasadena.
That's in New Jersey, right?
You got it.
Got a reason you should be in the Huddle, Detroit Free Press Sports, 321 W.
Lafayette, Detroit, Mich. 48226.
FOOTBALL; COLUMN; REVIEW