9402070860 DETROIT FREE PRESS 941025 Tuesday, October 25, 1994 METRO FINAL

SPT

1D MITCH ALBOM Copyright (c) 1994, Detroit Free Press THE HUDDLE As we were saying before being so rudely interrupted by the Secret World Series . . . HUDDLE UP! WHO'S IN THIS WEEK: Mel Gray, Jay Riemersma, Steve McNair, the Utah Utes, Barry Sanders (lifetime membership), Ty (I'm The) Law, Cass Tech and Chris Spielman, for waiting seven years to give us the greatest spike in the NFL -- the two- handed, on-your-knees, vintage 1905 model. WHO'S OUT: George Perles, George Perles' offensive staff, George Perles' defensive staff, Andre Rison, Texas A&M (Rice? It struggled against Rice?) and Fox reporter Lonnie Lardner, for actually doing a piece on shopping with Chicago linebacker Joe Cain. What's next week? Picking socks with Nate Newton? Hey, Huddle, move over, I'm coming in. Why, it's Pat Swilling. That was some speech you made in the locker room after being benched, saying you could take the tape of Sunday's game and get a job anywhere. That's right. Then again, if you took the tapes of the six games before Sunday, you might not get hired in Tampa. Huh? Bye. Come back when you sack somebody. 'Scuse me . . . (gasp) . . . Huddle . . . I'd . . . (hufff, hufff) . . . I'd like to . . . (hufff) . . . Look, it's Tyrone Hughes, the New Orleans Saint who ran back a 92-yarder, a 98-yarder, and had 347 yards in returns Sunday. Come on in here, young man. Thanks . . . ahhhh . . . (kerplump!) Somebody pick him up, will ya? Hey, Huddle, wanna see me spike again? Sure, Chris. Go ahead. OK, this is for the old guys! BAM! And this is for linebackers! BAM! And this is for leather helmets! BAM! And this is for no teeth! BAM! And this -- Quick, somebody, get the stun gun. Hey, Huddle. How could Michigan State lose to a fourth- string quarterback? With a fifth-string game plan. Yo! Huddle! Nebraska-Colorado. Your choice? Colorado. You can ski there. I mean the football game. Oh. Nebraska. They got heart. Excuse me, Mr. Huddle, sir. Can I get in now? Lou Holtz? Come on, you didn't even play Saturday. Well, we didn't lose. Good point. Maybe we should . . . Nah. Beat it. Hey, Huddle. What does it say when Erik Kramer and Rodney Peete threw for nearly 500 yards and four touchdowns Sunday, while Scott Mitchell completed six passes for 59 yards? You forgot Andre Ware, who did very well washing his car. Don't look now, Huddle, but Cleveland is 6-1. When can I look? When they're 8-8? Hey, Huddle. On Sunday, Troy Aikman suffered a concussion, bit through his tongue, and still wants to start next week. How come? They're playing Cincinnati. Who could resist? LET'S GO TO THE MAILBAG. . . . Dear Huddle: I should be admitted because my wife used to be madly in love with you, and I boldly convinced her I was the better man. -- Brad McCaffrey, Bloomfield Township. Wanna bet? Dear Huddle: I am 14 years old and play on the eighth-grade team. After two games, I have no penalties. I only hope I will one day be able to hold and be offside as professionally as the Lions. Can I get in the Huddle? -- Josh Rice, Royal Oak. Sure, kid. You can play backup cynic. Hey, did Wayne Fontes really tell a radio station that in five years the Lions will have won a couple of Super Bowls? Look, the man's been under a lot of stress. . . . Yo, Huddle. Now that the Chargers have lost, who's the best team in football? I bet your NFL poll would know. Gee, Dad, that's a fine suggestion. TOP BOTTOM 1. Dallas 20. Detroit 2. Kansas City 28. Tampa Bay 3. San Diego 29. Cass Tech 4. Minnesota 30. Cincinnati Hey, Huddle. Speaking of polls, can you explain the college version? Yes. The college football polls have been sent to this planet by alien beings in an effort to confuse us so they can attack. But if Penn State was No. 3 and beat No. 5, and Nebraska was No. 1 and didn't play. . . . See? It's working. Hey, Huddle. How about that rookie third-stringer Gus Frerotte winning his first start for Washington? Is it true his contract is almost minimum wage? His signing bonus was a set of steak knives. Hey, Huddle? Yes, Chris? BAM! This is for all us linebackers who never get credit! BAM! This is for Butkus! BAM! This is for Massillon High School! BAM! This is for MassillonHigh School! BAM! This is -- Ready, boys. Hold the net..... Got a reason you should be admitted to the Huddle? Write The Huddle, c/o the Detroit Free Press, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226. Or fax 1-313-222-5983. FOOTBALL; ANALYSIS; SPORTS; COLUMN