9906120151
DETROIT FREE PRESS
990613
Sunday, June 13, 1999
METRO FINAL
1E
MITCH ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1999, Detroit Free Press
OLD LAWS WON'T SAVE US FROM OURSELVES
You're out for a family canoe trip. You have your two young children with you.
You come around a bend, and there, in the water, is a soaking wet man who has
just fallen out of his canoe. He is screaming mad. He is cursing. He uses the
F-word, and he uses it again and again. You paddle past quickly, trying to
cover your children's ears.
You're upset. You worry for your kids.
But do you have a lawsuit?
That, in a nutshell, was the dilemma facing a jury last week in the small town
of Standish, where the belligerent man, 25-year-old Timothy Boomer, was
charged with breaking a 102-year-old law that forbids cursing in front of
children.
He was convicted of the misdemeanor, and now faces a possible 90 days in jail
and a $100 fine.
Naturally, in this human interest-equals-hype environment, the case has
attracted national attention. And while the idea of enforcing an outdated law
from the 1800s usually would bring a chorus of "oh, come on" -- because this
one involves children, decency and decaying morality, a lot of people are
jumping on the bandwagon.
To which I must respectfully say:
The law is not your daddy.
The flip side of the law
Now, I certainly understand those who would like to kick Mr. Boomer's butt
into the slammer. These are people who are sick of going to the movies or the
ballpark and hearing loud profanities yelled by those around them. These are
people who are sick of getting the finger from angry motorists, sick of
hearing strangers bark into cell phones, sick of getting lip from an annoyed
salesclerk or being bombarded with filthy talk on the radio and TV.
Then along comes Boomer on the river, an annoying everyday situation wrapped
in a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity. Because a deputy happened to be on the
Rifle River that day, and because he happened to know of this 102-year-old
law, there is a chance to send a message to all these creeps who are ruining
the world for the rest of us.
I sympathize. I really do.
But I'm not sure going back to the 1800s is the answer.
For one thing, this same law that forbids cursing in front of children also
forbids cursing in front of a woman. The judge in this case agreed to strike
that part, perhaps because, if he enforced it, he'd have to arrest half the
men in town.
But what are we saying by that? That we know the law is out of date, but we
still want to use part of it for our purposes?
Secondly, if you enforce a law about cursing in front of children, does that
mean you must arrest every TV set and radio programmer that utters the A-word,
the B-word or the P-word? Do we shut down any music store that plays rap over
the speakers? And at what age does a child stop being a child? 5? 10? 15?
Aren't there 15-year-olds who curse a lot worse than adults?
And while we're at it, which word constitutes cursing? If Boomer had been
yelling "Damn!" instead of the F-word, would he still have broken the law?
The not-so-common good
Now, we also should recognize that while civil rights activists are all over
this case -- free speech, freedom of expression, etc. -- this may be more
about a small town that gets overrun by drunken tourists every summer than
anything else. The reason the deputy was on the river that day was not to
police language, but to catch revelers who drink and party at the expense of
other more peaceable river-goers. Obviously, the town is fed up.
And that is the core of this whole case. The town is fed up. Families are fed
up. We are all fed up. We want a simpler, cleaner, more civil world, a world
without belligerent drunks and cursing neighbors.
"It's a common decency thing," said Tammy Smith, the mother of the children.
Exactly. But the key word is "common." What is common? If you go by "South
Park" common broadcasts -- it's one thing. If you go by churches and
synagogues -- common gathering places -- it's another.
A faster answer may be in limiting alcohol consumption, which is often behind
the behavior that folks in Standish decry. As for civility, well, that has to
be taught -- by parents, schools, religious institutions -- and it has to be
learned.
Boomer should apologize, which he has offered to do. But the law is not your
daddy. Remember, harking back to the 1800s also means honoring a time when
women's rights to vote and minorities' rights to be treated equally were
regularly denied. It's not old laws we need. It's a new sense of
responsibility.
MITCH ALBOM can be reached at 1-313-223-4581 or albom@freepress.com. Listen
to "Albom in the Afternoon" 3-6 p.m. weekdays and "Monday Sports Albom" 6:30-8
p.m. Mondays on WJR-AM (760).
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COLUMN;LAW;CANOIST;LAWSUIT;TIMOTHY BOOMER