9601280600
DETROIT FREE PRESS
960906
Friday, September 06, 1996
METRO FINAL
1C
Hahahahaha ...
Norv?
MITCH ALBOM Free Press Sports Columnist
TGI Football
Copyright (c) 1996, Detroit Free Press
First off, for those of you asking what happened to The Huddle -- it
shrank. It is now contained here, on Fridays, in our new T.G.I. Football
column. We are calling it T.G.I. Football, even though we have no formal
endorsement deal with the TGI Friday's chain, although that would be an
excellent idea and some REALLY GOOD PUBLICITY FOR YOUR RESTAURANTS and we
encourage them to call right away, 313-222-6660.
Now. Certain rules of The Huddle still apply. Only the best are admitted.
Barry Sanders has lifetime membership. And Lou Holtz gets in the day a twister
blows Helen Hunt into our newsroom.
In addition to The Huddle, we are here to talk football, prepare you for
the weekend and make some predictions. Small features may be added each week,
depending on how much coffee I had.
Ready?
* HUT ONE: The big game, Michigan State against Nebraska, and what can we
tell you about the Cornhuskers? They consider it a good day when a practice
ends with the same number of players it began -- meaning the cops haven't
dragged anyone off. I have heard Huskers football referred to as "Big Red." I
didn't know that meant a siren.
This is a place where Lawrence Phillips' beating up his girlfriend was
described by his coach, Tom Osborne, as "a little problem with anger." I guess
Tom would describe the Hindenburg as "a little problem with a balloon."
Anyhow, Nebraska players run fast. They have to. Ba-dum- bump. No,
seriously, they run fast. Perhaps, like many, you thought Nebraska players
were big, slow, dumb, had crew cuts and ate at a trough. That's not true. They
did not all have crew cuts.
And now they are fast. In fact, Nebraska, ranked No. 1, recruits defensive
backs out of high school and turns them into linebackers.
Speaking of recruiting, after the rash of arrests and violations, I wonder
what Osborne tells prospective parents these days:
"Mrs. Johnson, if you put your son in our hands, we'll protect him as if he
were our own. He goes to jail, nobody touches him, see? In our family, nobody
rats on nobody, see? Not Sonny, not Michael, not Fredo . . ."
* HUT TWO: Enough about the Eric Lynch fumble in last Sunday's Lions opener.
That did not lose the game. True, it didn't help -- and I think it's a dumb
idea -- but using a short-yardage back is not exactly reinventing the wheel.
The guy just coughed it up. I wouldn't worry about that happening again as
much as what happened on the Vikings' long touchdown pass, when Detroit's
secondary came apart. Now that's something to lose sleep over.
* HUT THREE (PHOTO OP): They say you need a sense of humor to coach the
Redskins these days. This is why coach Norv Turner spends Sunday morning
writing a humor column, under his pen name, Dave Barry.
* HUT FOUR: Deion Sanders will tell you I don't like him, but I say this for
his own good: He's hurting himself playing two positions for the Cowboys. And
it's Jerry Jones who's encouraging it -- not Barry Switzer.
The Huddle
* WHO'S IN THE HUDDLE THIS WEEK: Sedrick Irvin, Chad Darnell, Barry Sanders
(lifetime membership), Brett Favre, Da Bears and Stefan Edberg. I know he
doesn't play football, but give him a break, he's retiring.
* WHO'S OUT: Van Malone, Scott Mitchell, Terrell Farley, the Cowboys, Dennis
Green and President Clinton, for jumping on the Green Bay bandwagon. Sure, now
you show up. Where were you when Lynn Dickey was quarterback?
The Picks
* NEBRASKA 40, MICHIGAN STATE 21: The best chance the Spartans have Saturday
is to get someone on just before kickoff to yell over the PA system: "Police!
This is a raid!"
* MICHIGAN 30, BYE WEEK 0: I have a strong feeling about this one.
* LIONS 30, TAMPA BAY 10: Believe it or not, there are those who think the
Lions are destined for a great year. They have a quarterback who wants a new
contract, a running back who wants a new contract and a receiver who wants a
new contract. That's worth 21 points right there.
* DALLAS 20, NEW YORK GIANTS 10: Emmitt Smith removed his neck brace this week
and said, "Dang it, I'm playing Sunday." This is how bad the Giants are.
Emmitt doesn't even need a neck to beat them.
* BUFFALO 21, NEW ENGLAND 20: That was a pretty short trip for Bill Parcells,
wasn't it, from "genius" to "lard butt"?
You can write TGI Football at Detroit Free Press, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit
48826 or fax at 313-222-5983.
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