9601290316 DETROIT FREE PRESS 960913 Friday, September 13, 1996 METRO FINAL

SPT

1C Coach Tony ... Coach Dennis? MITCH ALBOM Free Press Sports Writer T.G.I. FOOTBALL Copyright (c) 1996, Detroit Free Press When we last left the Eagles and the Lions, the scene went something like this: WAYNE FONTES: What the heck is WRONG with you guys? You're PLAYING LIKE DOG POOP! ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! FONTES: That's INEXCUSABLE! ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! FONTES: HERE WE GO, MEN-- ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! FONTES: Uh, wait, I- ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! FONTES: Our father, who art in-- ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! FONTES: Taxi! ANNOUNCER: Touchdown, Eagles! It was not pretty. Fans will never forget the heartbreak of the final gun, when Chris Spielman fought back the tears, and Lomas Brown asked Ray Rhodes for a job. Yep. It sure was depressing for all of us, especially Lomas, since Rhodes never called. But it's a different season. Spielman is in Buffalo. Brown is in Phoenix. And the Eagles are now in awe of their Central Division rivals. Unfortunately, I am talking about the Packers, who whupped Philly on Monday night. As for the Lions? Well. The Lions don't scare the Eagles. But the Eagles shouldn't scare the Lions, either. Any team with a 1-2 quarterback punch of Rodney Peete/Ty Detmer shouldn't scare anyone -- except maybe its coach. * Speaking of the Lions, it didn't take long before the receiving corps, the deepest part of this team, started splitting ranks. Herman Moore is befuddled by the offensive woes. Brett Perriman glares at his lack of passes. Johnnie Morton says he's ticked off. Maybe the reason Scott Mitchell can't hit them in the hands is because he's aiming at their mouths. * It sure was nice to see the Tampa Bay Bucs pay a visit last week, and their players were teary-eyed when they waved good- bye to coach Tony Dungy, who had to resume duties at his other job, as mayor of Detroit. * When we last left the Michigan Wolverines and the Colorado Buffaloes, the scene went something like this. ANNOUNCER: This is the final play . . . MICHIGAN PLAYERS: Tee-hee. Look at these guys. They're actually gonna try to throw one. What a joke. ANNOUNCER: The ball is in the air . . . MICHIGAN PLAYERS: I wonder how many girls will be waiting when we come out of the locker room. ANNOUNCER: The ball's coming down . . . MICHIGAN PLAYERS: What the heck is the second line of "FreeFallin' " by Tom Petty? I was singing it this morning . . . ANNOUNCER: HE'S GOT IT! MICHAEL WESTBROOK MAKES THE CATCH! COLORADO WINS! MICHIGAN PLAYERS: Oh, yeah! "Freeeeeee fallin'!" That's it. Hey. What's that guy doing with the football? . . . The Wolverines will not be sleeping this time. Colorado is ranked fifth in the nation. That is in the Buffaloes' favor. Working against them is their quarterback, whose first name is Koy. He is the brother of Ty. Someone needs to tell their parents you don't have to pay for extra letters. THE HUDDLE * WHO'S IN: Greg (oomph!) Jeffries, Luther (So this is why they drafted you) Elliss, Barry Sanders (lifetime membership), Brett (I'm Back) Favre, Rod (I'm Back) Woodson, the Vanderbilt football team (almost, darn it) and Wake Forest. * WHO'S OUT: Rodney Peete, Trent (Oh, I'm Supposed to Throw to the Receivers?) Dilfer, Lou Holtz and the Flailing Irish and our favorite boxer, Bruce Seldon. Look out, a breeze is coming. Oops, down he goes. THE PICKS * COLORADO 24, MICHIGAN 20: Koy. I can't get over that name. I mean, what were they thinking? * LIONS 23, EAGLES 14: I'm banking on the Lions' wanting revenge. I'm banking on Rodney Peete being the Rodney Peete we all remember. Mostly, I'm banking on Barry Sanders. * CHICAGO 17, MINNESOTA 10: However old Warren Moon felt, watching his backup lead the Vikings to two wins just made him a whole lot older. * DENVER 21, TAMPA BAY 10: There's only room for one team in this league to wear orange. * MIAMI 30, NY JETS 9: Jimmy Johnson on one side, Neil O'Donnell on the other. The smartest free-agent purchase of the year, and the dumbest. * DALLAS 20, INDIANAPOLIS 17: One day, I want to drop Emmitt Smith off a 30-story building, just to see whether he misses a game the next week. Write TGI Football at Detroit Free Press, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226 or fax 313-222-5983. THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION MAY DIFFER SLIGHTLY FROM THE PRINTED ARTICLE. FOOTBALL; COLUMN