9601300078 DETROIT FREE PRESS 960920 Friday, September 20, 1996 METRO FINAL

SPT

1C Photo Boomer as Boomer . . . Boomer as Busey MITCH ALBOM TGI FOOTBALL Copyright (c) 1996, Detroit Free Press Now that it's Friday, and your heart has finally stopped pounding from the Colorado-Michigan game -- breathe in, breathe out -- perhaps we can re-enact what happened on that final Wolverines fourth down. QUARTERBACK: Remember, let's not snap it until we have to. CENTER: Aw, c'mon. Where's your sense of drama? QUARTERBACK: Drama? I'm a kinesiology major. CENTER: Let's snap it early and watch Coach Carr go ballistic. Heh, heh. QUARTERBACK: I don't know. I get scared when the veins stand out on his forehead. CENTER: Chicken! Bawk-bawk. QUARTERBACK: Shh! All right! Hut! OK. Maybe that's not what happened. But one way or another, the ball was snapped too soon, and Colorado got a last chance at the famous "Hail Mary." (Translation: "Embarrass Michigan on national TV.") Fortunately, for the Maize and Blue, the ball fell harmlessly to the ground, and only 12 alumni were rushed to the hospital with chest pains. Which brings us to this week's opponent: Boston College. We know BC as the Little School That Likes To Embarrass Lou Holtz. In fact, as near as we can tell, the things the Eagles do best is upset Notre Dame and show old Doug Flutie films. So far this year, Boston College beat Hawaii and was blown out by Virginia Tech. Still, Michigan had better be careful. The smaller they are, the faster they go down on pass interference. * HUT ONE: While they often say Chicago and Detroit don't have anything in common, that's not true this weekend. The Lions and the Bears can't find their offenses. Scott Mitchell has so far been a shadow of his 1995 self, and Erik Kramer hasn't played this poorly since he was, well, a Lion. By the way, with Rodney Peete last Sunday and Kramer this Sunday, all the Lions need is to face Andre Ware next Sunday. Of course, it would take that long to find him. * HUT TWO: I can hardly wait for Sunday's Giants-Jets showdown -- The Raucous in Secaucus -- which pits perhaps the worst teams in football, both New York franchises playing in New Jersey. The Giants are coached by Dan Reeves, who must have left his common sense with his skis in Denver. Reeves doesn't like his GM, doesn't like his quarterback and has practically begged management to fire him. Of course, it could be worse. He could be Rich Kotite, coach of the Jets, who are already on the clock for next year's No. 1 pick. The Jets need draft day to remind them what fan noise sounds like. * HUT THREE: Speaking of the Jets, their former quarterback, Boomer Esiason, has taken a beating with the Arizona Cardinals. People keep telling him to quit. But he says he's waiting for one more hit movie, under his stage name, Gary Busey. THE HUDDLE * WHO'S IN: The Michigan defense, Lloyd Carr, Jim Harbaugh, Barry Sanders (lifetime membership), Brett Favre, Ki-Jana (Hey, I Broke A Sweat!) Carter and Jimmy Johnson, who in three weeks already has won as many games as Kotite has in two seasons with the Jets. * WHO'S OUT: The Lions' defense, Peete (stop gloating), Corey (third-and-28) Raymond, Wayne Fontes (one reader suggested "lifetime expulsion" for Wayne this week, but I am not that harsh), Koy Detmer, Michael Westbrook, the Dallas Cowboys and Penn State, which thinks the words "non-conference play" mean "teams we can beat 55-0." THE PICKS * MICHIGAN 24, BOSTON COLLEGE 9: There are two ways to look at this game. One, Michigan is on a roll, and it'll win by 40. Two, Michigan is still celebrating last week and is ripe for an upset. Personally, I choose a third way of looking at it: Boston College isn't very good. * MICHIGAN STATE 28, LOUISVILLE 18: We haven't spoken much about the Spartans. That's because they're coming off a "bye week." (Translation: "Fourteen days to forget about Nebraska.") Why do you need a bye week after two weeks of the season? Isn't that like filling out the application, getting the job, then calling in sick? * DETROIT 23, CHICAGO 21: Why do I pick the Lions? Because I look at the Bears, and I see a losing team that is blaming its kicker. That's why. * GREEN BAY 30, MINNESOTA 20: Sterling Sharpe, my colleague at ESPN, says his former team will lose this game because it is playing indoors. I say Sterling is a better dresser than prognosticator. * DALLAS 25, BUFFALO 20: Let's face it. Neither team is what it used to be. * NEW ORLEANS 3, ARIZONA 0: The three best reasons . . . * TAMPA BAY 3, SEATTLE 0: . . . you'll ever have . . . * NEW YORK JETS 3, NEW YORK GIANTS 0: . . . to clean your garage. THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION MAY DIFFER SLIGHTLY FROM THE PRINTED ARTICLE. COLUMN