9502040004 DETROIT FREE PRESS 951031 Tuesday, October 31, 1995 METRO FINAL

SPT

1D MITCH ALBOM Copyright (c) 1995, Detroit Free Press THE HUDDLE Once a year, under a blue-gray sky, the green and white meet the maize and blue in a red-hot, black-and-blue battle for supremacy. My, how colorful. HUT ONE, HUT TWO . . . HUDDLE UP! WHO'S IN THIS WEEK: Herman Moore, Scott Mitchell, Barry Sanders (lifetime membership), Tracy (the Hammer) Scroggins, Tim Biakabutuka, Amani Toomer, the U-M defense, Tommie Frazier, Andre (finally!) Rison, Dan Marino, Eddie George, Bobby Hoying, the Atlanta Braves, the Dearborn High football team, and Igor Larionov, who brings the Red Wings' new official training meal: borscht. WHO'S OUT: Spartans, Jayhawks, 49ers, Bills and Pats, Vinny (splinters) Testaverde, Randall (splinters) Cunningham, USC, Buddy Ryan (permanent expulsion) and Tim McCarver (We don't care about the rotation axis of a lefty curveball, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!). Hey, Huddle. Want my autograph? Deion Sanders! Let us kiss your ring! There, there, now. Heh-heh. I'm just a regular guy, like you, only richer, and better looking. How are your eyes? My eyes? Yeah. The ones you closed when you dropped THE CATCH YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE! But- And you didn't even have an interception; all you did was knock down a badly thrown ball. And by the way, here's a letter from the Georgia Dome employees. They still love me? Sort of. It reads: "Dear Deion, if this is 'Your House,' how about grabbing a broom? We got a lot of peanut shells on Your Floor." Lemme see that. Next? Hey, Huddle, Go Blue! Huh? No, Huddle. Go Green! Uh-oh. It must be that time of year again. The Big Showdown. Are you two schools going to fight again? No reason to fight. We're Michigan. We're nationally ranked, we have a deal with Nike, and our classes are harder. Is that so? Don't listen to him, Huddle. We're Michigan State. We're more motivated, our fans are louder, and our student body is better looking. Hmm. Don't believe him, Huddle. They're all a bunch of grass- chewing, beer-guzzling, fertilizer majors who wouldn't know an SAT from a C-A-T. Wait a min-- He's lying, Huddle! They're a bunch of rich, pompous, cry- to-Mommy, borrow-from-Daddy, thumb-sucking nerds who wouldn't know a good party if it bit them in the butt. I think- WEED PICKERS! Hey now-- BED WETTERS! Enough! Both of you, over in that corner! You're not getting in the Huddle until you learn how to behave. But who's gonna win Saturday? Us or them? They are. Now, shoo! Outta my way, Huddle. Where are my bats? Look, it's Albert Belle. Mr. Personality! Aw, bleep-bleep. I'm just misunderstood. You mean you're not a cranky, moody, self-centered, prima- donna baseball player who struck out in his last at-bat in the World Series? Bleeping . . . whoa. Who's that? This is Lomas Brown. Next to him is Kevin Glover. Next to him is Chris Spielman. They are friends of the Huddle. They don't like it when people are rude to us. But . . . but. . . . Sic 'im, boys. !! percent&$#!##!$$!!*&! percent LET'S GO TO THE MAILBAG! Dear Huddle: Every preseason the press raves about the Lions, and every year my dad says they'll be lucky to reach .500. (Signed) Brian Derskow, West Bloomfield. Always listen to your parents, Brian. Dear Huddle: I would like to nominate my 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Caitlin, and wife, Sara, to the Huddle. They were smart enough to go bumper bowling while I watched the Lions vs. Washington. (Signed) Dean Bachelder. Always listen to your kids, Dean. ENOUGH MAIL! WHERE'S THE NFL POLL? Easy, Rocko. TOP THREE BOTTOM THREE 1. Dallas 28. Lions 2. Kansas City 29. Nebraska 3. Oakland 30. NY Jets Hey, Huddle. If Florida State loses to Virginia, then beats Florida, and Northwestern loses to Penn State, while Michigan beats Ohio State, couldn't Michigan be No. 2 and play Nebraska for the national championship? I think you'd better check your Halloween candy. Do you want to be in the Huddle? Send your questions, comments, or reasons for admission to the Huddle, c/o Detroit Free Press Sports, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226, or fax 1-313-222-5983.