9811130260
DETROIT FREE PRESS
981113
Friday, November 13, 1998
METRO FINAL
1D
Photo
Bratty Boris
Bratty Brett
The way he were
The way he is
MITCH ALBOM
THE LIVE ALBOM
Copyright (c) 1998, Detroit Free Press
FORGET AVALANCHE; IT'S WINGS-STARS NOW
Forget Colorado. Forget Philly. Forget Washington or St. Louis. Detroit's best
rivalry -- and maybe the best in the NHL these days -- is Red Wings-Stars.
Why? All great rivalries need several things. Hatred, yes. But that's not
enough. Otherwise, it still would be Wings-Avalanche -- at least as long as
Claude Lemieux plays there. No, great rivalries need teams capable of winning
championships, and the Stars and Wings qualify. And great rivalries need
hunger. One team has to desperately want what the other has. The Wings have
two Stanley Cups. The Stars are salivating.
Speaking of the Stars, I'm not surprised to hear Brett Hull is unhappy with
his minutes. He's always been moody, ever since childhood, when he went by the
name Boris Becker.
This week the Tigers spent the kind of money they've been trying to save for
years. They signed Dean Palmer, a third baseman, to a five-year, $36-million
contract, every penny guaranteed -- which means if the guy gets hurt or goes
bust, he gets paid anyhow. All for a one-season All-Star who doesn't play
great defense at a position where defense is key, and who, despite great
numbers last year, is a career .253 hitter averaging 25 homers a year.
And based on that, Randy Smith says, "This shows we're back in the ballgame."
I don't know. I think it shows the Tigers will spend $36 million. When Palmer
throws a shutout every four nights, maybe they'll be back in the ballgame.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't New York Mets try the Bobby Bonilla
experience once -- and hate it?
Well, we now know NBA players don't need basketball to make funny commercials.
Maybe I read too many papers, but it seems like the NBA headlines these days
are always one of the following:
BARGAINING TALKS STALL
OWNERS REJECT PROPOSAL
PLAYERS REJECT PROPOSAL
BARGAINING TALKS STALL
Just once, I'd like to see one of these headlines:
OWNERS ADMIT: "WE'RE RICH!"
PLAYERS: "ARE WE NUTS?"
NIKE POLICY: NO SHOE OVER $35
It's not for me to advise Michael Jordan, but given his past, isn't he hanging
around Las Vegas a little much these days?
One more NBA item: After all those years in Utah, Karl Malone is demanding a
trade. This week, he said: "It's time for Karl to move on." And once again I
am forced to ask ...why is he talking in the third person? Did he suddenly
leave the room?
Mitch wants to know.
When I read where L. Brooks Patterson is yapping about Oakland County getting
a casino to keep up with Detroit, I think back to all those sincere
politicians swearing that gaming won't spread, it's just a one-shot deal.
Yeah. And I'm Edith Piaf.
All the fuss over Keith Olbermann going to Fox Sports Net -- What will ESPN
do? How will "SportsCenter" react? -- leads me to this dumb question: When did
we elevate the simple task of talking over sports footage into some kind of
art form?
I mean, is this stuff worth $1 million a year? I remember when Bernie
Smilovitz saying "We've got highlights" was considered flashy.
Now you can't watch sports footage without some guy doing his Sound Effects
101 class. "Back-back-back-back-back!" "Deeeeeeeep!" "BUTTAH, BABY!"
Do any of them actually know how to report a story? Or has Who, What, Where,
When and Why been replaced by Whoo, Wow, Whee, Whoops and Whoa, Baby!?
So Kerry Collins turns his back on one team, gets traded, drives drunk, gets
arrested, and this is his punishment: He's starting at quarterback for the
Saints on Sunday.
Hey, Mike Ditka. Way to send a message.
Lions. Bears. Sunday.
I can't think of anything else on that one.
Speaking of those nasty NBA talks, they sure have taken a toll on commissioner
David Stern. Look how much he has aged in the few years since he toured the
country playing piano, under his stage name, Marvin Hamlisch.
To leave a message for Mitch Albom, call 1-313-223-4581 or E-mail
albom@freepress.com. Mitch will sign copies of "Tuesdays With Morrie" from
noon-1 p.m. Nov. 27 at Barnes & Noble in Bloomfield Hills and from 1-2 p.m.
Nov. 28 at Borders in Novi.
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