9502070767
DETROIT FREE PRESS
951128
Tuesday, November 28, 1995
METRO FINAL
1D
Drawing DICK MAYER/Detroit Free Press
MITCH ALBOM
THE HUDDLE
Copyright (c) 1995, Detroit Free Press
WHEEE! GLEE! HAPPEEE!
Look. It's the Northwestern Wildcats.
WHEEE! JOY! EXCITEMENT!
Hmm. I haven't seen that much purple since the last Prince movie.
WHUPPPEE! WOW! NEAT-O!
Don't you love the holiday season?
Hut one, hut two . . . HUDDLE UP!
WHO'S IN THIS WEEK: The Michigan Wolverines, Jim Harbaugh, Terry Mills,
Elvis Grbac and anyone else who went to U-M, Scott Mitchell, Barry Sanders
(lifetime membership), Steve Spurrier, Danny Wuerffel, the Independence Bowl
(for showing good taste), the Ferris State (Are We Perfect, or What?)
Bulldogs, and the barbecue chicken at E.G. Nicks.
WHO'S OUT: John Cooper, a certain big-mouth Buckeyes receiver who shall go
unnamed until later, MSU's prevent defense, Don Shula, Buddy Ryan (lifetime
expulsion), the Buffalo Bills, Rodney (How Dare You Bench Me?) Peete, and all
those shifty bowl people in their funny-looking jackets, who make used-car
salesmen seem like nuns.
Hello, Huddle. You asked for me?
Tim Biakabutuka. Yes. Kneel down, young man. What you did Saturday was a
Herculean effort.
Thank you. Whatever that means.
Because you have exemplified hard work, toughness and a devotion to family,
and also because you are still breathing after Saturday, we dub thee
"lifetime membership" in the Huddle, as long as you remain a Wolverine.
Goodness. I'm overwhelmed.
It's big stuff. You want to sit down?
Excuse me, passing through.
Well. If it isn't Ohio State's Terry Glenn.
So?
As in "Michigan is nobody" Terry Glenn?
Um. . . .
Bet the coaches are real happy you said that, huh?
Aw, Michigan just got lucky.
Lucky? What's your major, mythology? In the immortal words of Bob Dylan,
"Now you don't talk so loud, now you don't act so proud."
Bob who?
Dylan.
Who's he play for?
Hmm. You are a Buckeye, aren't you?
Hello, Huddle. How about admission?
Joe Paterno? You want in?
Of course. I'm interested in all groups that stand for integrity,
sportsmanship and clean play.
Well. That explains us. How about you?
I beg your pardon?
You have to admit, that was pretty convenient the way your team went
straight to a New Year's Day bowl, even though you had to squeak out a win
over Michigan State and even though you finished with the same Big Ten record
as Michigan.
Well, we did have a fine year.
It didn't hurt that ESPN wanted you in that bowl because of an East Coast
audience?
Well, I--
You didn't raise any objections, did you?
Now listen, you whippersnapper.
By the way, Joe. The pants? They're supposed to cover your socks.
They are?
LET'S GO TO THE MAILBAG:
Dear Huddle: I love reading you. Can I get in because I love football and
I'm a girl? Please? (Signed) Willette Gilmore, Detroit.
What? Girls don't like football? See ya.
Dear Huddle: I also think Buddy Ryan is a jerk, and I hardly ever turn the
Lions off until the fourth quarter. Am I in? (Signed) Steve Brown, Fremont.
Sounds like good credentials to me. Enter.
Dear Huddle: I get sick and tired of you ripping into Notre Dame and Coach
Holtz. Every time I read you, I feel like ripping your head off. It is time
to stop. I repeat: Stop. (Signed) David Barton, Detroit.
Lou, that's pretty sneaky, calling yourself David.
ENOUGH MAIL. GIVE US THE POLL!
OK. Hold your rabbit, Roger.
TOP THREE BOTTOM THREE
1. Dallas 28. NY Jets
2. San Francisco 29. Nick Lidstrom
3. Kansas City 30. NY Giants
Hey, Huddle. When the Dolphins were good in the '70s, they had the No-Name
defense. What do they call this year's version?
The No-Tackle defense?
Question for you, Huddle. Next year, will they be the Baltimore Browns, the
Cleveland Bengals, or the Cincinnati Bucs?
All I know is, whichever team Vinny Testaverde is quarterbacking, that's
the one you stay away from.
Hey, Huddle. During Fox's Lions-Vikings telecast, did we see enough shots
of the turkey?
Is that was that was? I thought Jerry Ball had come back for a visit.
Mitch Albom will sign copies of his new book, "Live Albom IV," Wednesday
night, 6:30-7:30, B. Dalton, Livonia Mall.
Do you want to be in the Huddle? Send questions, comments or reasons for
admission to Huddle, Free Press Sports, 321 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226, or
fax 1-313-222-5983.
COLUMN; FOOTBALL